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I had the most awesome, freakass dream EVER.

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 5, 2012, 10:04 AM
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: CARNIVAL
  • Reading: A heartbreaking FRUK doujin.
  • Watching: My Pewdiecry shimeji. They're so funny.
  • Playing: Unbugging Dreamtalia. Urgh
  • Eating: Nutella.
  • Drinking: In front of a computer? Are you fuckin kidding me?


Last night, I had like the most amazing and fucked up dream ever.
And since, the "music" that was ringing thoughout it just won't get out of my head.

Ever had a "full color video clip" kind of dream?
The kind you would totally want to see as an anime or an MMD PV.

Well I dream in MMD Style. In APHetalia MMD PVs lately tobe more precise.

Often there's one song playing in my dream, and following the music, a full story unfolds and can be replayed or reversed as I wish. I often want to adapt those dreams I have in real MMD PVs, but I'm FAR from having all the required skills.

Well this night, my song "of choice" was the amazing CARNIVAL by otetsu feat GUMI: www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjNRfM… (look up the english lyrics, you'll see, they're freaky cool).

And as you might have guessed, my dream was about Hetalia.

Note: there IS actually an "official" APH MMD Carnival video, who won a placein the latest japanese MMD CUP. But this dream I had, though it featured the same main chara, was nothing like it.

Second note: this dream WAS really disturbing, because it shows things that are good neither for your health or your mental safety, nor legally authorized. Don't, ever, try the things I dreamed about in real life.

So, as the "first scene" started in the beginning of the song, there was a bathroom in a small kinda gloomy apartment.
And England was in that bathroom (he was dressed quite casually, a bit of a funky british fashion style), staring at the mirror, with one of his sleeves lifted and some kind of rope tied around his arm. I didn't realize at the beginning of it WHY his sleeve was lifted or the WHY the rope was around his arm but when I realized later, I freaked out.

It looked quite eerie from the start, because when England touched the mirror and the music suddenly roared, a gloved white hand pulled him inside of it and it suddenly felt like "Alice in Wonderland" when she falls through the hole, you know, there are a lot of random colourful things flying around you and he was falling, falling through that mess laughing out loud.
He landed in some kind of huge mess of black strings that swirled around him like a puppet, but he broke them easily with a grin.

The scene suddenly changed to a really sadder one when the first verse started singing, we were "back in reality" (note that I wasn't physically present or active in this dream, I only witnessed all of it happening without doing  anything), and it was the Gakuen Hetalia Academy.
England (dressed in school style here) was sitting against the window in an empty, clunching his head between his palms and rocking back and forth as if he had a violent headache, and he looked outside the window painfully, there was this erratic noise in his head apparently.
France came in and asked him something, but England didn't seem to hear him or at least reacted quite violently, because he punched him and left the class running,  passing through a glass window to escape by the backyard.

There were then flashes of different "real life" scenes during the pre-chorus part of the song, where you could see England at his desk (still at school) staring at photos he made with his friends (a lot of Hetalia characters such as America, Japan, China, and the rest of them...), then he threw them back in his bag, went to the bathroom and locked the door, then paced here and there in front of the mirrors eating his nails, before looking through the window with some kind of disgusted look.
Then one were he was writing on a chalkboard during the class, the song lyrics saying "I play alone, I like being alone" then doing homework and housework "I'm fine being alone", then curling up in a corner like sulking "I don't want to be alone".
Then it was suddenly back at the chalkboard scene, where England suddenly realized that he had written "ALONE ALONE ALONE" and "SOMEONE SOMEONE SOMEONE" all over the chalkboard wihtout noticing. He freaked out a bit, turned back to face his classmates, but there was no one and he suddenly smiled. The shape of an object flashed in sight, but I didn't recognize it first.

The chorus started and the scene changed. You could see England walking inside of a fantastic carnival/amusement park scenery, one like in a dream, looking at a giant Ferris wheel rotating, ballons flying away, then he ran and got on a merry go round. All the people around him, the children, the laughs etc... were both extremely clear and very blurry.
As he was on the merry go round, he noticed a parade and circus-like artists passing nearby , and he frowned, biting on his thumb again. But then he followed a crowd of children going to the circus without a regret, cheering happily.

The scene changed again when the second verse started, we were back at the Gakuen school.
France was there again, talking to England, but he was wearing a ringmaster-like outfit made of purple and white silk with a tophat. He seemed to get angry, then snapped his fingers in front of England who suddenly realized he must have had been deaming, because France was clothed normally, not like in a circus, and was apparently lecturing him about something. He brushed him off with a sarcastic look, went into the bathroom again like he was in a hurry, and took a bottle of  pills out of his pocket. But when he opened it and wanted to gulp down a mouthful of pills, the bottle was empty. England freaked out, pressing his hands against his forehead, threw the bottle away, as if he was losing sanity, then took something else out of his jacket, the same object I couldn't recognize before (and I still didn't at that time) and grinned, eyes swirling like crazy.

The second chorus started and this time, it was the reality around England that was changing into a Carnival/amusement park. The Gakuen tower became a crimson and purple merry-go-round, the people around changed into clowns and merry children, the teacher into an icecream sellsman, the whole reality mixed up with that "carnival" and England was walking and dancing amongst them all, guided by the allies and Axis dressed in "carnival style", except there was TWO France: one was wearing a white tuxedo with a red cape and colourful accessories such as a mask, a hotp hat etc, and the other one had only half a mask, was wearing a funeral tuxedo with a dark purple cape and silver accessoiries.

On the bridge of the song, you could see England doing all kind of things in that mixed up reality, like eating a cupcake, walking around, dancing with a clown etc, but there were transparent objects that were blurry before and that appeared, top-layering the scenes, they were also "eaten" piece after piece, I saw scones, then a bottle (of what? i dunno), then pills, more pills, the image stopped on a syringe, then went on with an ice cream and colourful sweets, then as the bridge roared again "CARNIVAL, CARNIVAL, but I won't dance" England was standing suddenly on the top of this fantasy,suddenly freaking out because everything was deforming around, the happy faces turning into hideous masks, the ferris wheel rotating in reverse. England seemed to fight a bit against himself, but then he grinned, and a hand extended to him (Ringmaster!Black!France's hand) and he caught it, being dragged again and surrounded by the dancers. While he was watching all of this, he suddenly frowned and bit his finger again, throwing an empty bottle of pills away.

The scene switched brutally to the "reality", England was pacing back and forth in a corridor, alone, and at each passage, a word was forming on the wall behind, until you could read "ALONE. SOMEONE. NO ONE." England stopped and sat curling up back against that wall, head between his palms, and the scene faded to a  bathroom again. He was holding what seemed like a syringe, but when he looked at himself in the mirror, he was indeed holding a cutter, and when he looked at his arm... well, he'd cut it open really badly, cuts fucking all along his arm and ripping blood. The scene flashed to dark place. England was standing on the edge of something, maybe a barrier or a roof, and looking down, hesitating, but then his eyes swirled, arms extended towards him and he dived into a red light.

The final chorus started with England "falling" again like in the beginning through a Wonderland-like mess of objects and effects, only he was now dressed the same way as France was before, eyes swirling with colours, green tuxedo, blue cape, tophat, monocle, string of feathers falling from his shoulders, white gloves, cards flying around with toys and sweets and music notes and piano keys and... and all kind of stuff. Wonderland I tell you.
England was first slightly frowning, like surprised, but then he grinned wide and started laughing out loud, louder and louder, till he extended like an angel dive (very dramatic XD) and fell into the same mess of black thin ropes that tied him like a puppet, only all he could see was the carnival brightful around him and while the ropes almost engulfed him, he closed his eyes with a laugh.

Then in the very last notes of the song, the scene came back to the bathroom in the very beginning. The "camera" went over the mirror and sink, and England indeed was here again.
Only he had collapsed against the wall with his eyes dull and hollow. His sleeve was lifter again and that is when I understood. The arm was tied up with a rope again, covered in cut marks and needle points and he had an empty syringe in his right hand.
Obviously, he had just died from overdose.
That's when I understood I'd been witnessing his losing of sanity to drugs and addiction. To sum it up, I watched England do drugs, harm himself and lose sanity till the point of dying.
The "camera" only made a quick passage on hisbody, then poof, black.

I woke up afterwards being all "man, that was the most awesome, eerie, disturbing dream I've ever had".
But yeah, I dreamt of a sanity-low song, people doing drugs, harming selves and dying. What the flying hell is wrong with me?
Not that I didn't enjoy it though, I always enjoy even my darkest dreams. But once you awake you realize how mentally ill you are.

...

*goes back to listen to Carnival*

CSS by AnglaisRose
Add a Comment:
 
:iconversusshadow:
VersusShadow Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I wonder if I could make this an MMD video. I got the program. Now I need models and motions and a bunch of other stuff XD
Reply
:iconversusshadow:
VersusShadow Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
LOOK. LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
I want the motion for this so much omg.

[link]
Reply
:iconkakuume:
kakuume Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ton reve a l'air encore plus ou moin cohérent et logique par rapport aux faits et actions :O mes reves son completements bizzarres et sans sens! avec ton reve on pourrait creer des fanfictions ou des doujins!
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Je sais! XD

Mais tout de même, rêver qu'un personnage que t'aimes bien se drogue au point d'en mourir...

Asile, youhou!
Reply
:iconkakuume:
kakuume Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
t'inquietes, il y a des fanfics ou les personnages se font violer et torturer au point de mourir ou se suicident, donc ton reve est encore inoffensif par rappord a ca xD et si tu faisait un MMD de ton reve? :D
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Si j'ai le temps et les skills, qui sait XD
Reply
:iconkakuume:
kakuume Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
t'as les skills! et pour le temps... bah les nuits blaches n'existent pas pour rien xD
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Et les examens d'université, hein? T'irais à ma place?
Reply
:iconkakuume:
kakuume Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
non non c bon, j'en ai deja bleinde avec mes examens de noel UwU" xD
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Bah voilà, donc tu comprends mon problème XD
Reply
:iconspothamster22:
SpotHamster22 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
I had a very desturbing dream for about a year and a half, and I based a story off of it... My parents now strongly suggest theropy, as soon as they read it.
Reply
:iconsicilynotdenmark:
SicilyNotDenmark Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Das awesome, bro. But seriously, overdose is bad, especially when England is doing it!
Reply
:iconzupakid:
Zupakid Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I had a dream like that once, about Poland and how the country was partitioned, and i tried to make a flipnote of it and failed :(
Reply
:iconversusshadow:
VersusShadow Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh damn try skimming through this story along with the music. HOLY CRAP I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS BECOMING REAL. If I had the intention-span, the talent, and programming, I'd be more than happy to do it, but I'm not getting a new computer until Christmas and that's too long to wait, I wanna see this as a video NOW ;A;
Reply
:iconversusshadow:
VersusShadow Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And now I've got Carnival stuck in my head. I guess I kinda have to do something for it now, or else it's going to pester me until I do.
Reply
:iconkaze-no-shojo:
kaze-no-shojo Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
My dreams are usually based on my feelings :3
I also dream in first person and usually I am a character other than myself unless it's a nightmare (usually myself in those)
you were lucid dreaming when you had this dream because you remember it so clearly. Did you know that if you recognize it is a dream while your dreaming you can change it? you should look it up, best past time ever and I've only succeeded once or twice so far because I'm a passive lucid dreamer
it really is fun :P
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I don't think I was lucid dreaming at the moment, I was just unfolding and/or rewinding a film... Otherwise well that'd make me even more crazy because that'd mean my brain consciouly chose to have Arthur die of violent overdose.

Still, that dream was mother of freaking great, that carnival was just gorgeous.
Reply
:iconaquablue11:
AquaBlue11 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
ever had an out of body dream?
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Mmm nope, not that I can remember of. I always dream either as a different character (often a male o_o) or as a simple viewer.
Reply
:iconaquablue11:
AquaBlue11 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Student Digital Artist
ok :3
Reply
:iconneonstraightjacket:
NeonStraightJacket Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow what an odd dream. :O it sounds kind of cool maybe you can you that dream to inspire your artwork.
Reply
:iconhetaoni00:
Hetaoni00 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow. Amazing.

I have pretty twisted dreams too, but this is pretty awesome. I wish I had dreams like yours, I need more of them...
Reply
:icondiamondsnake:
Diamondsnake Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:'D Funny you say something like that, because I had the worst nightmare ever last night and woke up wanting to cry...
but I gotta say, I love dreams that are just so realistic and the 'story' of the dream is just perfect :meow: Lucid dreaming needs to come in greater quantities. :U
Reply
:iconziiteara:
Ziiteara Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
is it worrying that i almost laughed.... a couple of times. I like this. Twisted. ... uh... i have no idea what i am saying. But your mind...... is amazing XD
Reply
:iconalos-the-vampire:
Alos-the-Vampire Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That's fucked up...
Cool, but fucked up.
Reply
:iconleekspinner-miku:
leekspinner-miku Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
ALONE ALONE ALONE SOMEONE SOMEONE...? Is England trying to activate Slenderman?
Reply
:iconrochudoll:
rochudoll Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
i only see one thing wrong with this dream, it's impossible to read in dreams
Reply
:iconregalclaw:
RegalClaw Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student General Artist
...Why Iggy of all people? But then again, thats a cool dream you got there. At least you remember your dream pretty well~ Unlike me, I usually forget more than half of my dream when I wake up, so I end up having no clue what it was about DX
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
True, true.

And I dunno why I picked on Iggy, though France and America were also very present (America as a joker and France as the ringmaster of the Carnibal)
Reply
:iconverachime:
verachime Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student General Artist
Woah, that is freaky! That'd be awesome to watch.
But still, wtf?
Reply
:iconsilentarrow:
SilentArrow Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... freakin epic.
Reply
:iconsomeonecoolerthanyou:
SomeoneCoolerThanYou Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
one word to describe all this...

trippy.
Reply
:iconfireraven23:
fireraven23 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
That sounds epic. I've had cool dreams before, but I've always wanted one as awesome as that!
Reply
:iconversusshadow:
VersusShadow Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Whooaaaaa that would be an amazing MMD or PV thing. I sense some fan art of this coming along (lol, says me). I have some flipped out dreams too, but NOTHING like that. Other than one. I had it when I was little, I didn't know about Hetalia or even anime or anything then.
I was in a large white room, a staircase actually. I had gone down the stairs, to the room, very curiously, wanting to see what was down there. The room swerved for a moment, then stopped. All I could see, at the very very end of the room, was a door. It looked a bit like a closet to me. Still curious, almost like Pandora's Box, I went over and looked at the door. No doorknob. So, I stuck my fingers into the crack, and tugged. Nothing. I drew back to try and push it or pull it, anything, but before I even laid a finger, it swung open, releasing a thick balck smoke. Out flew bats, snakes, spiders, monsters, then swirling colors, green, blue, pink, red, orange, and yellow. The next scene showed me waking up in bed. It seemed so real, I thought I had woken up. I looked out my window, and a strange light shown through the curtains. I got out of bed, and when I looked outside, a gigantic glowing coment was bulleting straight towards me. I woke up again. Thought I did. It happened again. Then again. After about 3 or 4 tries, I actually did wake up, bawling.
Reply
:iconjadewing413:
jadewing413 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:33 I always love my dreams, even the freaky ass ones. I have a reoccurring nightmare that never leaves me alone though. I'm driving with my aunt, and all the sudden she tells me to go in the back seat and cover my head. I do so, but look over the back seat to see what's going on. In the middle of the street, is a strange dummy with red hair, large round eyes, almost no pupil, that's holding a knife covered in blood. A semi truck the appears and supposedly runs over the dummy, but the dummy then appears in the front seat, grinning, holding the head of an old man.
We then arrive at my house, and run inside. My aunt disappears, and a note (kind of like the Slender notes) is on the counter. It usually says "It can be killed". I turn around and there the dummy is, holding his bloody knife high up in the air. When he swings it down, I guess he stabs me, but that's usually the time I wake up.

The weird thing about it though, is that's it's always silent. There's no noise going on around me, except for and eerie wind chime noise...
Reply
:iconnyanprincess:
nyanprincess Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
0_0 i had a dream the world was crashing arround me and there was this creepy siantist killing everyone and i lost sanity so i stared with a grin full of fangs and a knife than i woke up and couldent sleep
Reply
:iconpokemonsonicgirl123:
pokemonsonicgirl123 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My dreams are usually surreal, but what type it is is dependable on my personality trait. For example, one of my traits me somewhat studious, so I have dreams of being inside my school, but in various grades and different surreal interior designs much like the classrooms. The only time they occur most often is several weeks before the first day of school. For each dream, the interior design is very different that the other.

So, yeah, my dreams are very surreal and bizarre. ^^;
Reply
:iconemeraldangel2:
EmeraldAngel2 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:stare: WHY ENGLAND OF ALL PEOPLE?!
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Well IDK, just... mainly France and England XD
Reply
:iconakinad:
AkinaD Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Wow, that's amazing. (has enjoyed this disturbing dream)
Reply
:iconnikki-nac:
Nikki-Nac Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...*proceeds to put on headphones and listen to carnival while reading the story.* this song just got that much more epic.
Reply
:iconpianodream:
Pianodream Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
IKR. This song is one of my top fave vocaloid songs from all the time.
Reply
:iconnikki-nac:
Nikki-Nac Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
sames!!! I always end up re-playing it over and over while doing me homework
Reply
:iconrussiansnow:
russiansnow Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Dark dreams are the best! Until five minutes later I forget it and get depressed. T-T
Reply
:iconmusiceeye:
MusiceEye Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn... That's impressive. I can never remember my dreams. XD The most disturbing dream I've had was with the Ao Oni chasing me around my school.
Reply
:iconaznli:
AznLi Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
reminds me of a particularly sad dream I had. It wasn't hetalia related but it was interesting none the less (and oddly with dialogue for some reason) . It was about a family of actors who ran their own theater and were fairly famous for their work. In the newest production they were going to debut their youngest daughter actor in a starring role. Excited and determined she trained and practice her line diligently and her choreography everyday until the night of the show. With butterflies in her stomach she was still confident with her self and did her best on the stage. She graceful with her steps and did not stutter her lines as she played her role perfectly. The show was done and there was an applause. the young actress was pleased with herself and looked forward to hearing what the others had thought of the result of her hard work. When it was time to meet their audience she was still in costume standing before the crowd with the rest of her family and waited patiently to meet the audience. However no one approached her. Not one soul, young or old said a word of compliment, praise or feedback to her. She wasn't sure why but she continued to stand their patiently and this slowly started to distraught her from the inside out as she was not once acknowledged. Even the extras of the show were confronted and talked with them, accepting flowers from their fans. The young actress was so confused not sure to do as the audience disappeared. Her father declared for a successful production that a feast must be had at their home. So after they cleaned up the stage they returned to their home. The actress was confused but she was sure to hear something from her family? They must have at least have an opinion about her acting. Sadly thought they didn't they didn't say a word about her at the large table of assorted foods and meals of all kinds. They praised and criticized just about everyone to their staring roles to their to their back stage crew, but not one of the young actress. She wanted to say something but nothing seem to come out. Why? Why was this happening? She excused herself from the table silently and headed to her room, darkened by the evening and she sat on her bed staring into the dark going back to what happened. Why was she not praised, criticized, or anything? did she do terribly bad? but they would have told her wouldn't they? Did that mean she did well? The didn't say much either...then it finally burst. Her head and heart couldn't take it anymore and she let out a un heard scream and cried.

and that was it....it made me really sad but I found it tragically beautiful.
Reply
:iconillenia-chan:
Illenia-chan Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
That is just so incredible...
Everytime I wake up from a dream, I really forget what the reality is
and then freak out because really I don't know where I am at first :D
Reply
:iconprincetheripper33:
princetheripper33 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow, amazing!! it´s so cool, that you remember this dream with so many details! god... i haven´t been dreaming anything awesome for months... i really wanna T^T
Reply
:iconwolfmania013:
Wolfmania013 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I wish I had such epic dreams. I can never really remember mine (but the ones I do remember are seriously disturbing, but feel like watching a film, so I understand what you are talking about) and can't remember any dreams I've had about hetalia.
*Googles how to have more vivd dreams*
Reply
:iconaethue:
aethue Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
That would make a really good fanfiction
good you wrote it down before you forget it :D
Reply
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